Tonight was my 3rd night going to the care center to be with the man. I got there at 8pm. His breathing was different than the last 3 times I was there.. He wasn’t gasping hard like before. About 10 or 15 minutes later he opened his eyes and kept staring up. The med aide was there and watched him for a few minutes... After he left, I sat there watching him. There were 2 chairs.. one right next to him, and another by his feet. My parents told me not to sit too close because it obstructs the soul find it’s way out or something.. anyway... I kept thinking in my head, I have to go over there and pray for him.. I just have to I just have to. I had the thoughts before as well, but not as strong as tonight. It was almost to where I couldn’t sit there, I started shivering a bit and just sat next to the chair next to him and said, I have to pray for you.. and prayed a tiny tiny prayer for the Lord to take him by his hand and guide him safely to heaven. I told the man, that God loves him and he is waiting for him.
He had his eyes open most of the time... This was the first time I saw him open his eyes too, and the nurse told me that as well... anyway... he hung on for another 15 minutes.. the nurse sat in the room with me for 5 minutes talking.. and watching the man... he’d breath and pause and breath and pause... then he didn’t breath... we sat there and sat there and sat there for few more minutes.. The nurse checked him, and sure enough... he was gone.
He left quitely and peacefully. This was my first experience.. being there when someone dies. I know he’s in a better place, so I’m not freaked out or upset. I’m just a bit surprised about my attitude and how much I’ve changed in a few weeks too...
Wow is all I can say about life!
Monday, March 17, 2008
Thursday, March 13, 2008
Tonight I went down to the care center for couple of hours to sit with a man on his death bed. It’s called "Compassionate Campanion" and I’ve been on the volunteer thing but didn’t get a chance to go in... so tonight was the first. It was different from what I thought it would be.. I was sorta nervous when I got there. I put up a brave front (cuz dad works there med aide) and went into the room. This other volunteer (who used to work there) was there and said she’d stay with me if I like since it’s my first time. It was nice to have her there, though I would have been okay if I was alone because that place was just hustling and bustling with people I used to work with popping in and outta the room talking my ears off...
The man looked like he was extra comfy and simply sleeping snoring away. I watched his breathing for a bit... and all the sudden he made this moaning sound that scared the crap out of me! The other lady has seen many and been with many who were dying so it was no big deal.. I looked at her and we both sorta giggled. I know... why are we giggling when he’s dying right? Dying is not a bad thing... some people are better off dead. This man doesn’t look like he’s suffering.. though I feel like he’s holding on and won’t go for another day or 2.
The lady who stayed with me told me about the other people that she was beside when they died... and she looks at him and says, he’s holding on strong.. you just never know when they leave.. God will go, hey you it’s time.. and then he’ll be gone. I pictured God still making the bed for the person hehe...
It was not eerie or anything like I’d imagine.. just peaceful. I mean.. we’ve had few people die in our house (we take care of elderly folks).. that’s a bit tough since we know them for several years..I know it’s tough on my mom.. anyways... when those people die in our house, I get a bit creeped out, I would walk off really fast or do something stupid to get away from that room ASAP. I remember the first time a gentleman died at our house.. I didn’t go by that room for 2 months atleast.
I kept wondering what’s in the man’s mind while he lay there in his bed... wish I could read people mind at times.. hmm or do I really want that? Anyways... he’s still holding on.. I won’t find out the update till morning.
Well.. time to hit the hay. Ta.
The man looked like he was extra comfy and simply sleeping snoring away. I watched his breathing for a bit... and all the sudden he made this moaning sound that scared the crap out of me! The other lady has seen many and been with many who were dying so it was no big deal.. I looked at her and we both sorta giggled. I know... why are we giggling when he’s dying right? Dying is not a bad thing... some people are better off dead. This man doesn’t look like he’s suffering.. though I feel like he’s holding on and won’t go for another day or 2.
The lady who stayed with me told me about the other people that she was beside when they died... and she looks at him and says, he’s holding on strong.. you just never know when they leave.. God will go, hey you it’s time.. and then he’ll be gone. I pictured God still making the bed for the person hehe...
It was not eerie or anything like I’d imagine.. just peaceful. I mean.. we’ve had few people die in our house (we take care of elderly folks).. that’s a bit tough since we know them for several years..I know it’s tough on my mom.. anyways... when those people die in our house, I get a bit creeped out, I would walk off really fast or do something stupid to get away from that room ASAP. I remember the first time a gentleman died at our house.. I didn’t go by that room for 2 months atleast.
I kept wondering what’s in the man’s mind while he lay there in his bed... wish I could read people mind at times.. hmm or do I really want that? Anyways... he’s still holding on.. I won’t find out the update till morning.
Well.. time to hit the hay. Ta.
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