Friday, March 14, 2008

Tonight was my 3rd night going to the care center to be with the man. I got there at 8pm. His breathing was different than the last 3 times I was there.. He wasn’t gasping hard like before. About 10 or 15 minutes later he opened his eyes and kept staring up. The med aide was there and watched him for a few minutes... After he left, I sat there watching him. There were 2 chairs.. one right next to him, and another by his feet. My parents told me not to sit too close because it obstructs the soul find it’s way out or something.. anyway... I kept thinking in my head, I have to go over there and pray for him.. I just have to I just have to. I had the thoughts before as well, but not as strong as tonight. It was almost to where I couldn’t sit there, I started shivering a bit and just sat next to the chair next to him and said, I have to pray for you.. and prayed a tiny tiny prayer for the Lord to take him by his hand and guide him safely to heaven. I told the man, that God loves him and he is waiting for him.
He had his eyes open most of the time... This was the first time I saw him open his eyes too, and the nurse told me that as well... anyway... he hung on for another 15 minutes.. the nurse sat in the room with me for 5 minutes talking.. and watching the man... he’d breath and pause and breath and pause... then he didn’t breath... we sat there and sat there and sat there for few more minutes.. The nurse checked him, and sure enough... he was gone.
He left quitely and peacefully. This was my first experience.. being there when someone dies. I know he’s in a better place, so I’m not freaked out or upset. I’m just a bit surprised about my attitude and how much I’ve changed in a few weeks too...

Wow is all I can say about life!